Remembering Kelsey today …….
I'm sitting here reflecting as today marks 12 years since the day of the accident. I remember the day as it was yesterday as each and every minute of that day is forever etched into my memory... for memories and the love of my beautiful Kelsey are what keeps me going.
I replay this day over and over in my mind, always praying that the ending would be a different one, that this freak accident had never happened, that the next thirty hours would be different and my Kelsey would be here with us today. What I would give to turn back time.....What I would give to have my girl .....what I would give to know who Kelsey would be today....
I'm reflecting on that day and it started out just like every other day......Kelsey got up for school at 6:14 just like every other day, She changed her outfit 3 times that morning, that was nothing unusual either, before landing on the perfect outfit to wear for school. Of course, Kelsey looked beautiful in each of the outfits but she finally decided on the short blue print skirt and white tank top. She looked great. Honestly, Kels always looked great in anything she wore but that morning I even remember saying to Kelsey, you look really really pretty today. She just had a glow and radiance about her as she smiled at me that morning. I asked her to let me take a picture and she said it’s no big deal Mom, we will do it another time. Why didn't I take the picture....As I left for work, I wished Kelsey good luck on her test, good luck for the game, gave her a hug goodbye and said I love you and I will see you at the game. Thanks Mom.....Love you too would be the last words that I would ever hear Kelsey say to me....... If only I knew that was going to be the last time that we would talk with each other—I would have never left, said so much more and would have never let her go.
Kelsey texted me from school several times throughout the day which was also nothing unusual. She asked me if we could talk about her birthday and the birthday party she was planning. Kels shared with me that she had a dream last night about her birthday and the party she was going to have and reminded me that it was coming up soon so we needed to decide about things. We decided we would talk about it when Kels got home from her soccer game that night.
Then, Kelsey texted me asking me if I could take her shopping on Saturday for a dress for the Home Coming Dance. I said sure and asked who she was going with and she said we’ll talk about it later.
Then a text came that the soccer game time was changed and that Varsity was playing at 4 pm at Pope John Paul HS instead of later. Kelsey wanted to make sure I knew and was still coming since it was raining. I told her that of course I'd be there. It was a rainy and gloomy day but of course I went to the game just as I always did. I wouldn't miss the chance to watch Kels as I loved to see her play. Kelsey started on Varsity that day and she looked great. She played so well and you could see that she was so proud and beaming. I could see by the expression on Kelsey's face, in her smile and in her eyes, just how very happy she was to be out there playing, playing well and playing with all of her good friends. She was thrilled and I couldn't have been happier for her...
I did not get to talk with Kelsey after the game but sent her a text congratulating her on starting in the game and letting her know that she played really well and that she looked great out there. I let Kelsey how very proud I am of her. She thanked me and said love you mom …..see you later. That would be Kelsey's last message to me............I then left for back to school night at OJR and said Love you too....see you later.
12 years ago today would be the last time that I would ever see Kelsey's smile, her sparkling eyes, hear her voice, hear her laughter and feel her touch and those great big hugs.....the last time that I would ever see my beautiful, vibrant girl so happy, smiling, having fun and so full of life. If I had known, I would have never left Kelsey that day at the game. If only I could turn back time.......
Then, Kelsey texted me asking me if I could take her shopping on Saturday for a dress for the Home Coming Dance. I said sure and asked who she was going with and she said we’ll talk about it later.
Then a text came that the soccer game time was changed and that Varsity was playing at 4 pm at Pope John Paul HS instead of later. Kelsey wanted to make sure I knew and was still coming since it was raining. I told her that of course I'd be there. It was a rainy and gloomy day but of course I went to the game just as I always did. I wouldn't miss the chance to watch Kels as I loved to see her play. Kelsey started on Varsity that day and she looked great. She played so well and you could see that she was so proud and beaming. I could see by the expression on Kelsey's face, in her smile and in her eyes, just how very happy she was to be out there playing, playing well and playing with all of her good friends. She was thrilled and I couldn't have been happier for her...
I did not get to talk with Kelsey after the game but sent her a text congratulating her on starting in the game and letting her know that she played really well and that she looked great out there. I let Kelsey how very proud I am of her. She thanked me and said love you mom …..see you later. That would be Kelsey's last message to me............I then left for back to school night at OJR and said Love you too....see you later.
12 years ago today would be the last time that I would ever see Kelsey's smile, her sparkling eyes, hear her voice, hear her laughter and feel her touch and those great big hugs.....the last time that I would ever see my beautiful, vibrant girl so happy, smiling, having fun and so full of life. If I had known, I would have never left Kelsey that day at the game. If only I could turn back time.......
Here is the video of Kelsey playing at the PJP game on that day 12 years ago today along with some other clips from other games. I am so grateful that I have this video yet the images of Kelsey actually playing that day are forever imprinted in my mind and always will be.
http://vimeo.com/37283336
We love you Kelsey and miss you more than you can ever imagine. You are with us always, now and forever baby girl......Kelsey, you are forever loved, forever remembered, forever our inspiration, forever strong and forever in our hearts....
Love, Mom
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