Remembering Kelsey today …….
I'm sitting here reflecting as today marks 13 years since the day of the accident. I remember the day as it was yesterday as each and every minute of the day is forever etched into my memory... for memories and the love of my beautiful Kelsey are all I have to hold onto to keep me going each and every day.
I replay this day over and over in my mind, always praying for a different ending, that this freak accident had never happened, that the next thirty hours in the hospital would have turned out differently and my Kelsey would be here with us today. What I would give to turn back time.....to have my girl here with us ......to understand why my girl....to know who Kelsey would be today.... So many questions which I pray are answered some day.
I'm reflecting on that day as it started out just like every other school day......Kelsey got up at 6:14 just like every other school day, She changed her outfit 3 times that morning, which was nothing unusual either, before landing on the perfect outfit to wear for school. Of course, Kelsey looked great in each of the outfits and she finally decided on the short blue print skirt and white tank top. Honestly, Kels always looked great in anything she wore but that morning I even remember saying to her, you look really really pretty today. She just had a glow and radiance about her as she smiled at me that morning. I asked her to let me take a picture and she said it’s no big deal Mom, we will do it another time. Why didn't I take the picture....As I left for work, I wished Kelsey good luck on her test, good luck with her game today, gave her a goodbye hug, told her I loved her and would see her at the game. Thanks Mom.....Love you too would be the last words that I would ever hear Kelsey say to me....... If only I knew that was going to be the last time we spoke with each other—I would have never left, said so much more and never let her go.
Kelsey texted me from school several times throughout the day which was also nothing unusual. for her She asked me if we could talk about her birthday. Kels shared that she had a dream last night about her birthday party and reminded me that her birthday was coming up so we needed to decide about things soon. We decided we would talk about it when Kels got home from her soccer game that night. And knowing Kels, she would have been very persuasive and convinced me to have the birthday celebration she wanted.....
Then, Kelsey texted me asking me if I could take her shopping on Saturday for a dress for the Home Coming Dance. I said of course and asked who she was going with and she said we’ll talk about it later.
Then a text came that the soccer game start time was changed and that Varsity was playing at 4 pm at Pope John Paul HS instead of later. Kelsey wanted to make sure I knew and was still coming since it was raining. I told her that of course I'd be there. It was a rainy and gloomy day but of course I went to the game just as I always did. I wouldn't miss the chance to watch Kels as I loved to see her play. Kelsey started on Varsity that day and she looked great. She played so well and you could see that she was so proud and beaming with pride. I could see by the expression on Kelsey's face, in her smile and in her eyes, just how very happy she was to be out there playing, playing well and playing with all of her good friends. She was thrilled and I couldn't have been happier for her...
I did not get to talk with Kelsey after the game but sent her a text congratulating her on starting in the game and letting her know that she played really well and that she looked great out there. I let Kelsey how very proud I am of her. She thanked me and said love you mom …..see you later. That would be Kelsey's last message to me............I then left for back to school night at OJR and said love you too....see you later.
13 years ago today would be the last time that I would ever see Kelsey's smile, her sparkling eyes, hear her voice, hear her laughter and feel her touch and those great big hugs.....the last time that I would ever see my beautiful, vibrant girl so happy, smiling, having fun and so full of life. If I had known, I would have never left Kelsey at the game that day. If only I could turn back time and be with my girl......
Then, Kelsey texted me asking me if I could take her shopping on Saturday for a dress for the Home Coming Dance. I said of course and asked who she was going with and she said we’ll talk about it later.
Then a text came that the soccer game start time was changed and that Varsity was playing at 4 pm at Pope John Paul HS instead of later. Kelsey wanted to make sure I knew and was still coming since it was raining. I told her that of course I'd be there. It was a rainy and gloomy day but of course I went to the game just as I always did. I wouldn't miss the chance to watch Kels as I loved to see her play. Kelsey started on Varsity that day and she looked great. She played so well and you could see that she was so proud and beaming with pride. I could see by the expression on Kelsey's face, in her smile and in her eyes, just how very happy she was to be out there playing, playing well and playing with all of her good friends. She was thrilled and I couldn't have been happier for her...
I did not get to talk with Kelsey after the game but sent her a text congratulating her on starting in the game and letting her know that she played really well and that she looked great out there. I let Kelsey how very proud I am of her. She thanked me and said love you mom …..see you later. That would be Kelsey's last message to me............I then left for back to school night at OJR and said love you too....see you later.
13 years ago today would be the last time that I would ever see Kelsey's smile, her sparkling eyes, hear her voice, hear her laughter and feel her touch and those great big hugs.....the last time that I would ever see my beautiful, vibrant girl so happy, smiling, having fun and so full of life. If I had known, I would have never left Kelsey at the game that day. If only I could turn back time and be with my girl......
Here is the video of Kelsey playing at the PJP game on that day 13 years ago today along with some other clips from other games. I am so grateful that I have this video yet the images of Kelsey actually playing that day are forever imprinted in my mind and always will be. I couldn't be more proud of my girl and only wish that she had the opportunity to see this video too.....
http://vimeo.com/37283336
We love you Kelsey and miss you more than you can ever imagine. You are with us always, now and forever baby girl......Kelsey, you are forever loved, forever remembered, forever our inspiration, forever strong and forever in our hearts....
Love, Mom
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